i'm max and my one true love is Americone dream ice cream. +

Guy: What do girls do at sleepovers?
Me: Pass the Bechdel test.

blackout-escapist:

bagmilk:

*concerned white parent voice* sweetie don’t write on yourself you can get ink poisoning

image

thecityofpaper:

do you guys ever do that thing where you adjust the tabs because they don’t look like they’re in the right order

lameborghini:

1. wear more black
2. be meaner to boys
3. do homework maybe

johannliebert:

when youre wearin a cute outfit in winter and someone is like “aren’t you COLD” excuse me you are weak and your crops will never last the winter with that attitude 

raksolnikov:

parenting tip: talk to your kids about mental illness. tell them they might have a hard time. tell them they can ask for therapy and medication. tell them they aren’t alone. tell them if your family has a history of mental illnesses and which ones. just fucking talk to your kids and be there for them.

theartofexhaling:

When you see a band you’ve lover for ten years right up close tho. #monumentour #patrickstump #fob

theartofexhaling:

When you see a band you’ve lover for ten years right up close tho. #monumentour #patrickstump #fob

tyrabankruptcy:

yogaboi:

k-popvevo:

That one time Tom Daley worked as a male escort…

That “one time”? please we all know his boyfriend pays him an allowance

Omg

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS
SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.
ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS

SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.

ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

mid2000snatalieportman:

lvysaur:

with 93 million on tumblr i bet theres a clique of 37 year olds who make fun of us

yeah they’re called the staff